The Truth About Comparison

We all compare ourselves from time to time, but constantly checking how we measure up can hurt more than just our self esteem.

We all compare ourselves to others. It's natural to want to know how we measure up to our peers. But in today's world, it's easy to fall into a comparison rabbit hole as we scroll through our feeds, noting what others have that we don't. Though this might seem like just a pesky habit, the constant comparison can hold us back in so many ways.

Here’s a look at the truth about comparison. 

1. Comparison is the product of a scarcity mindset.

When you measure yourself against others, your scarcity mindset is rearing its ugly head. It’s telling you that when others succeed, there’s less success available for you, but that’s not the case! Success, happiness, love-none of these exist in finite quantities. There’s enough to go around.  Embracing this abundance will show you that someone having what you want is proof that it can be done. It will spark excitement rather than resentment. 

2. Comparison is a game you can’t win.

As Brené Brown so brilliantly put it, comparison is “trying to simultaneously fit in and stand out. Comparison says, ‘Be like everyone else, but better.’” With comparison, you can’t win. You’re looking around to make sure you're on track with others, but also expecting yourself to be different enough from them so that you can be “better.”

3. You can’t connect when you're comparing.

Read that again. If you’re constantly checking how you stack up, then your mind is on you, not the other person. You aren’t really listening to what others have to say, only how it affects you. Comparison stands in the way of admiration and reverence. Resentment, envy, and jealousy are likely to arise instead.  After all, It’s hard to be genuinely happy for other people if you’re looking at them as your competition. 

When it comes down to it, we lose far more than we could ever gain when we compare. So, let's ditch the scarcity mindset, quit playing the game, and turn our attention to connecting instead of comparing. There's enough goodness to go around!

The Women in Consumer Finance conference and community are all about letting go of the comparison that pits us against one another so that we are free to connect, grow, and learn from each other. In 2025, we'll be in Charlotte, North Carolina from November 10-12 for 3 days of connection, inspiration, and career development. Secure your spot!